Many of us are brought up in dysfunctional homes with extreme childhood neglect. This happens when we do not receive the love, care and affection that we needed as a child from our caregivers and parents. This can be due to various reasons, from the parent not knowing how to regulate their own emotions to them not being involved in parenting. However, childhood neglect can have a deep impact even when we grow up. “Experiencing childhood emotional neglect growing up can have enduring impact and can creep right into adulthood; your relationships, career and how you navigate everyday life. We learn about feelings in childhood by our parents being in tune with our needs, mirroring and responding to our needs consistently that our feelings are accepted and valuable,” wrote Therapist Lalitaa Suglani.
Here are a few common struggles that people face when they are brought up in homes with childhood emotional neglect:
Sense of being flawed: Not receiving the love that they needed as a child makes a person feel that they are somehow responsible for it. Hence, they feel that they have some flaw due to which they did not receive the affection they needed.
Guilt and shame: This feeling of being flawed further ignited feelings of guilt and shame for normal things.
Self-knowledge: They are extremely under-confident and are unaware of their own emotions. This makes them not being able to regulate their own emotions.
Difficulty trusting people: They have a lot of difficulty in finding comfort in others. They are scared of being vulnerable and emotionally intimate with others.
Fear of rejection: The feeling of being rejected in childhood by their own parents and caregivers stays with them even in their adulthood, leading them to have a deep fear of rejection from everyone and everywhere.
Difficult in self-compassion: Even though they are able to have compassion and empathy for others, they are extremely rude to themselves and think that they are responsible for everything that goes wrong.